It’s interesting how the lessons of my life keep showing up time and time again. Almost like the universe wants me to know myself inside and out. It keeps throwing out these lessons in different scenarios and different players; but always the message is the same. As I lean into my divine feminine Self I am seeing the lessons that have always been there with new eyes. One, for example, is the lesson of intuition. The patriarchy, as a masculine hyper dominant structure of society paints all feminine qualities as inferior or silly. If you have these inclinations you are taught that they have no place in this world. The patriarchy tells you that what you’re feeling is wrong, how you naturally want to express it is wrong and, in turn -you are wrong. There is a wrongness inside of you and the only way to come back to rightness is to adapt masculine ideas and traits.
Intuition is one of those traits we are taught to devalue. Where is your proof? HOW do you know? The system is straightforward and proof driven, there is no room for anything that doesn’t fit that model. There is no space for the quiet (sometimes not so quiet) voice inside of you that knows without knowing. We, over time, learn to quiet the voice, we learn to ignore the voice as we would a leaky faucet . Over time the voice, after years of not being listened to, stops speaking to us. It’ll pop up when things are seriously wrong, but mostly it just watches and waits for the day that we are ready to listen.
For some of us, motherhood is that time, for others the time never comes. The wonders and mysteries of motherhood are too great and powerful for even patriarchal ways of thinking to deny. They can not undo the deep intuition that awakens (or rather, is finally listened to, as it’s always been there). We begin to call it “mothers intuition” or “instincts”. These patriarchal labels give credence to a feminine aspect of ourselves. Because now it is known and accepted in culture, we are now more apt to listen and don’t just brush off the inner voice. With this new acceptance begins the work of rebuilding trust in ourselves and the parts of us that “know”.
I’m a huge fan of using scientific models of fact accumulation and lately I’ve been speaking on the lessons I’ve been learning with the women around me. I cannot tell you how many times I hear “this might be me just being too sensitive or “I don’t know for sure but..” and then “oh my god I thought it was just me” when I tell them that I too think that guy is creepy, or I too, feel the wrongness of a situation.
I am guilty of this more than I care to admit, of doubting myself and my intuition. Even when I think I have this lesson learned, the doubt will creep back in, slowly and then hit me like a freight train instead of the slow, steady, subtle tempo that intuition prefers to take. I’ll realize I brushed aside, doubted, and did not give due credence to my inner voice.
Fighting a system of belief such as a patriarchal system takes time, thoughtfulness, and strength. It takes mistakes and the vulnerability to own up to and learn from those mistakes.
The place of intuition in this system of belief is still tenuous but we are in a time of great awakening of the divine feminine within all of us. I invite you to practice with me, join me on this path of reclaiming our intuitiveness. Reclaiming and proudly listening in the face of a system that demands proof. Being ok with having the proof be a “gut feeling”, not apologizing or making excuses for the gifts that have been bestowed upon us such as our softness, our intuition, or compassion even though the system we all live in deems them not as important. I invite you to lean into the feelings and sensations that your body and soul are trying to show you. Are you brave enough? I believe that just being a woman in the world takes courage, being a man in touch with his femininity takes courage; all of this courage proves to me that yes, you are brave enough. Lets start a revolution of trust and radical acceptance of our softer parts.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this so if you feel so inclined please feel free to comment or share,